Wise Guy

A response to our press release from friend Alex in California:

MONTEREY, Calif. -- In a major retraction unseen since the Time's mega-apology for Jaysongate, Ron L. and Christine K. have admitted changing the due date and year for their child for tax purposes.

Federal prosecutors say they're considering "big-ass charges" against the couple, but would not elaborate. And in a recent development, Michigan media reporters are rabidly checking the couple's claims that their Ann Arbor house has a rosebush and roof and everything.

"Their claim ...'and everything' seems a little too grandiose, a little too Jaysonesque," said Fibs Magee, columnist of the Detroit Free Press. "In today's journalism, we need precision to maintain our credibility. When the couple last worked in San Francisco, Ron L. was chastised for saying a law firm had 'reamed its customers for sh--loads of bucks.' Such wording is unacceptable, and I think that's what's going on here."

Media critics at the Poynter Institute question the sincerity of Christine K.'s apology. Since her e-mail, the soon-to-be mother has received a two-year endorsement contract by the makers of Pop-Tarts and Fig Newtons.

"We want her to be our poster child for the Fig Newton lifestyle," said a company spokesman. "And when she pops, we want her kid to become our poster child."

Meanwhile, the Niebelungenleid Paper Clip Company of Stockton, Calif., has sued the couple for copyright infringement.

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